Dear Google

I know you’re taking a beating pretty hard right now. First it was just the folks at Threadwatch, WebmasterWorld, SearchGuild and Cre8site who were giving you a hard time. Then the Blogosphere, and guys like Scoble started saying how evil you were being lately. Danny Sullivan even spoke out against it. Now mainstream media like Time and the BBC is starting to come around. Finally Dougal created the evil toolbar to turn the tables on you, and show you how we feel.

I’m sure this isn’t any fun for you, and maybe you don’t understand it, so I’ll try and clear it up for you. You see, when you started out you were like our great new girl friend, who was really supportive of us. We liked you and you liked us. We took you out, and showed you off to all of our friends, who liked you and thought you were really cool, and started to visit you too. A few years later, now that many of you are millionaires, and you don’t need us as much, things are different . Instead of being supportive, you’ve become our evil disapproving mother-law who thinks we’re all bad, mean, and rotten kids. In fact you think we’re so bad, you think nothing of putting your words in our mouths, or more precisely your links on our pages.

Let’s also talk about your public liaison, GoogleGuy. There used to be a time when he was really helpful. Yes he had to watch what he was saying, and be a little cryptic, but in his own way he changed the internet, and made it a better place. Then things changed, now everytime he visits a forum and makes a comment, he’s like the ghost of Christmas Future, pointing his skeletal finger at your URL carved into a gravestone. I’ve talked about this with other people, and we all feel the same way, so the time has come for somebody to say it , Hey GoogleGuy stop being a forum troll. If you have something to contribute please do, but if you’re going to walk around like the Queen of Hearts yelling, “off with their heads”, when someone proposes something you don’t like … well save the drama fer’ yer’ mamma, cause I have work to do…

Here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be this way, in fact it shouldn’t. See we both want to build an internet that’s relevant for the users. The problem is you need our content, and we need your traffic. Somewhere along the way you decided, that we were all filthy stinking spammers, and came up with some heavy handed solutions and punished the whole class for the actions of a few bad kids. Here’s where it gets really good, after monetizing your website everyway till Tuesday, you came up with a really great idea, autolink. Autolink was the perfect platform for you to monetize our websites. Oh yeah sure I know you’re not doing it now, but there’s no way you haven’t thought about it. I mean c’mon, I may have been born at night, but I wasn’t born last night…

So how ’bout it Google, I know you have a lot of really smart people over there, and you have to be having second thoughts about this one. You haven’t been totally consumed by greed have you? You can still come out and say “Hey I’m sorry we made a mistake ok, can you forgive us?”

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